January 22, 2021
Family Law: Access Parent
Can you let your child choose not to see their access parent?
When a client is going through a separation, this is a question that I am often asked. Under most circumstances, the answer is always no, unless there are safety, well-being concerns, a parent is not permitted to acquiesce to a child’s refusal to see the other parent. Instead, the custodial parent has an affirmative obligation to encourage, facilitate a relationship with the other parent.
What if the child will not go?
The law requires the custodial parent to take all reasonable steps including but not limited to providing guidance, incentives and consequences. Children often do not want to do things their parents ask them to do like going to school, chores and visiting family. However, parents often set out consequences for their refusals to listen like grounding them, taking away the playstation, not being able to do a favourite activity etc. This is no different in the context of a child’s refusal to see the other parent.
I have often heard client’s incorrectly say that the child can make their own decisions at 12 years of age. This is very far from the truth. A child may withdraw from their parent’s control and care at 16 years of age. This assumes then that the child will be under the parent’s control and care until at least the age of 16. This also means a court could compel a custodial parent to facilitate, encourage a relationship with the access parent in the case of a child who is older than 16 and has not withdrawn from parental control. This forces parents to consider whether it is in the child’s best interests, in addition to whether it is cost-effective, to bring a motion or application to compel the custodial parent to facilitate, encourage a relationship with the access parent when the child nears 16 years of age.
Sometimes proceeding to court in the face of a child and parent who refuse to promote, facilitate a relationship with the access parent might cause the child to dig his/her heels in even more. It may cause current feelings towards the other parent to worsen. Sometimes it may be best to let the child come around on their own.
It is important for parents/children to understand that withdrawing from a parent’s control may have financial consequences for the child’s right to support. Speak to a family law lawyer before taking such a step.
For assistance with a family law matter, contact Ammar Hussein of Rimawi law at 613-779-1347
or ammar@rimawilaw.com
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